flow sweetly, hang heavy, you suddenly complete me, hysterical.
I just re-read through my like 4 posts I have done so far and realized that each of them has the distinct tone of being slightly, well, depressed. Which is odd, considering as in person I am nothing like this whatsoever. But there you have it, I guess blogging perhaps bring out the emotional almost-artist in me. Whatever.
These past weeks have been almost unbearable. Coming back home was the biggest letdown of my life. After the bright lights and extreme newness of the U.K, the good old eightohtwo seemed too small and, for lack of a better description, quaint for me. Which upset me greatly because I realized that that makes me sound like some pretentious city-slicker who is now able to navigate the London underground successfully while carrying 3 pieces of luggage and not once looking at a map, someone who browsed Harrod's but couldn't find a lion there, somebody who regularly took trains to various cities and stayed in hostels, all without batting an eye. The first time I drove into Burlington I started crying because it hit me that it was one street. What. The. Heck. Then I went to NYC this past week and hated that too, which must make me completely anti-American, or just a wanna-be European. (And no, we will not be attending a comedy show tonight, thank you).
This is a typical day for me at home: wake up at the buttcrack of dawn aka 6:20, stumble into a black t-shirt and jeans, force some cereal and yogurt down, brush my teeth, start my car at 4:43 and sometimes brush approximately 33 inches of snow off of it, buzz down shelburne road at 6:50 but still end up late to work at Bruegger's at 7. Then I have to do something gross like prep turkey into 1.9 ounce sections or pour gobs of mayo into a squeezy container, all while trying to pretend to love life the instant a 'guest' walks in the door. I will typically work 7-8 hours a day, then force myself to go to the gym where i do mad reps duh or play tennis, which is sweet considering my new shoulder and stuff but annoying cause i kind of suck right now. Then I go home, annoy my mom, take a shower, eat dinner, read, and fall asleep at 9. REPEAT. EXCITING.
This just gets me thinking though, shouldn't I appreciate all of this a bit more? sure, it is not the stimulation of the UK, with new places to go and people to meet and things to see and pictures to take and dancing to do and train rides to get excited over and never being fully sure what just happened or what will or what could happen but it is home, but it is home. It should be what I know, but currently I am not sure what I know because it all got twisted around recently. Everything has to end and change and continue and begin again but secretly I was hoping that life didn't happen and I could deal with it all. But I can't and that is too bad.
So there it is. I need to recenter and get reconnected with my world here.
Thank you Karen O for getting me through the 'reverse culture shock'
Enjoy the re immersion.
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