i'm not the only one you tried to save when you fell out

Last night I saw a man in the moon and today my life changed.

That sounded much more drastic than what actually happened, but, last night marked the last night of a surreal week in Blue Hill, Maine with the boyfriend. I say surreal because I took myself out of the real world (trust me, that was much needed) and into the world of relaxation. So we head down to the dock to look at the moon. Romantic, connecting with nature, the usual.

So I look up, and see it: a face in the clouds with the moon as the eye. But the face keeps changing, first he is smiling and then he is crying and then he is smirking... his hair grows and grows and then he disintegrates. I said "that was interesting," and Peter says "why did that happen?".

What I learned: people process things differently. Peter always questions, wanting to know why things work out the way they do. I let them happen and try to feel them as they come. We sat for what seemed like hours, our feet dangling off the rocks into the Atlantic, the moon reflecting off of the water, my head buried into his shoulder, just observing. A rocket went around our brains, but mine was calm and his was highly caffeinated. I was seeing, feeling, and not wanting to understand the beauty of the world I habit to frolic around in, he was asking himself, "why this moment, why us, how are we here and not over there?"

We talked. I cried, not willing to comprehend the sheer unpredictability of the way his thoughts work. I cried for not knowing why things happen, for what happens after we float away, for being there at that instant. I guess the moon crushed my thoughts and made me go deeper, and I wasn't ready.

What I truly felt last night was connection. A spider web of wound worlds, twirling and seamlessly entering and leaving my brain through my ears. I was connected through touch, sight, sound, feel, not just to the person who was next to me, but to everybody. I imagined brushing through the clouds, fizzling up and down and up again, just to experience it. When I came back down, I realized that my connection to this world depends on my viewpoint of it- and that that bigger something will eventually reveal itself.

Enjoy the trip to the stars, and don't worry about missing.

p.s while the above images don't have anything to do with the experience I was describing, they do show Acadia, and an eagle, which are pretty cool in their own rights.